The hidden power most people have
But never use
There’s a pattern I’ve observed over the past couple of decades. A simple tool top performers use -from multi-exit startup founders to great moms- that helps people clarify their focus, achieve great things, relate better to people around them, and keep forward momentum.
We all have greater wisdom inside of us than we think we do, so just to hop straight into it, this is a practice that’s helped me unlock the right answers to whatever I feel stuck on, whether it’s a fight with a loved one, the next project to focus on, or simply how to have a productive day.
It’s all some variation of asking yourself, “What would X person do at this moment?”
This is a short list of who I think about, and versions I’ve seen come up over and over, but certainly not exhaustive.
1. “What would my 80-year-old self tell me to do right now?”
This is a great question to ask if you feel you might need a broader perspective on a situation. I find if my wife and I are in an argument and I take a beat to ask this question, and Evan at 80 comes onto the scene, he says, “Look at how beautiful and young she is. I wish I could be there to hold her and experience our younger years together again. Why are you wasting your time fighting? Go over and hold that woman! Talk about meaningful things like what you want the next 10 years to look like. Not ‘if I said what I thought you said, and my reaction to your reaction to my reaction…’”
My 80-year-old self also tends to want me to start things today. He usually says, “One of my regrets is waiting. If I didn’t wait 10 years to start writing that book, I could have written 10 years more worth of books!”
2. “What would I coach myself to do right now?”
I, and I’m assuming you, really like thinking about what we think other people should do. We’re so good at it! If only more people would take our advice, right?
But we, and especially I, don’t tend to turn that super-power inward as often as we should, perhaps. I’ve been practicing this one more and more, but if I simply imagine I’m not myself, and I’m giving advice to someone else in my situation, and I simply follow that advice, my days are much more life-giving and productive.
3. “What would (insert smart person you follow and respect) say to me?”
I’ve often felt stuck and taken the time to write an email to someone I respect who has a certain skill-set, or who is farther along than me in an area I want to improve in, to ask for advice.
And I’ve found if I take the time to read that email, and imagine what they would say in response, the answer has actually been fairly obvious.
I used to send these emails without too much introspective when I was younger, but the older I get, the more and more I delete these emails after some thought and have a clear path forward.
I noticed many people use one of these variations. This has been interesting to me to observe and practice. Often we have a lot more wisdom locked up inside of us that goes unused. These are just a couple of tactics to get out of our own way and unlock what we already know.